A helping hand
by Little Miss Defensive
Summary: Missing moment  and slightly re-written scene  from Season 3 Episode 22. Beckett/Castle


Title: A helping hand

Author: Little Miss Defensive

Rating: K+

Pairing: Beckett/Castle

Summary: Missing moment (and slightly re-written scene) from Season 3 Episode 22

Spoilers: Episode 22 (but possibly the rest of Castle too I guess!)

We managed to avoid talk of the case all through our meal but as it got later I realised we needed to discuss things while today's events were still fresh in our mind. Beckett looks stunning tonight... A long loosely fitting purple top over leggings... The long tops seemed to be her casual home style clothing and I like it, a lot. Not to mention how her top has slipped down a little on her left shoulder and I can see her bra strap. I try to ignore how arousing it is to see her like this but the thoughts remain, niggling at the back of my mind while I try my best to focus on the case. Taking a breath, I begin.

"Picture this... A gullible young actress... Desperate to make a name for herself... She meets our mastermind at a club; he needs a pretty girl to help him get the voice code. He tells Violet he's a producer promises to make her famous if she helps him play a practical joke on a friend." I glance at her now and again as I speak. Something is making her even more attractive to me tonight, more so than usual. I can't put my finger on quite what it is that is different about her maybe it's just the new environment we are in. Well whatever it is, I can't keep my eyes on her for long periods of time without getting seriously distracted. I am doing my best to stay focused on the case, and trying not to think about how even though we have a room each, technically we are sharing a hotel room and she will be sleeping frustratingly close to me... Just in a different bed.

"She doesn't even realise she's participating in a crime until afterwards, she can't call the cops so she contacts Royce." She always seems to be thinking along the same line that I am, it's part of the reason we work so well together. And yes, I know I should be paying more attention to what she is saying, and I am... I'm multi-tasking... But when she pulls her head from where it had been resting on her hand a few strands of hair stray and I have to stop clasp my hands together to prevent them from moving to smooth her hair down. I've wanted to do it for such a long time, a lot longer than just tonight. She has beautiful hair.

"But then our Mr. McCauley finds out." I answer, forcing myself to look away from her again. Why does she have to be so beautiful? When things are going so badly, especially for her, losing Royce... Can't she stop being attractive, just for a moment? Sometimes I lose my breath at her beauty.

"And Royce tries to change the game he goes to New York, home field advantage. Classic... classic Royce." She goes quiet for a moment and from the corner of my eye I can see her lips pressing into her fingers. While she is trying not to let the emotion into her voice I can feel the hint of sadness in her words. "I was so in awe of him Castle when I first met him... I just hung on his every word." She smiles at this, moving her hand from the side of her head and gesturing into thin air as she reminisces. "And then later I realised he was just making up stories to mess with me." She smiles, not quite laughing, but almost. I smile back, and look down imagining the young Beckett eagerly following Royce around. When I look back up to face her, her smile is fading. "I can't believe I'm never going to see him again." The way her lips have tightened into a straight line makes me think she might be fighting tears and all of a sudden I want to hug her... I want to kiss her and take away all the hurts she's ever felt. Instead I shuffle a little closer, I don't enter her personal space too much I want her to be comfortable but I need to be close enough for me to prove what I'm about to say is the truth.

"You know what I thought when I first met you?" I ask her.

"Mm," She lifts her head dragging her mind from Royce for the moment, and focusing on me.

"That you were a mystery I was never going to solve. Even now after spending all this time with you I'm... I'm still amazed at the depth of your strength, your heart..." Her head is ducked again as I say this, and I can't see her eyes but I see a small smile turning up her lips and warmness fills my chest. "And your hotness!" I add, smirking a little. Her smile increases at my last words, and I smile back at her wondering if she can see in my eyes the way I'm feeling right now.

"You're not so bad yourself Castle." Our eyes meet at her words and it feels like an eternity looking into her beautiful eyes, her beautiful face before she speaks and breaks the moment. "I should go, it's late. Goodnight." Before she looks away I catch something familiar in her eyes, and my heart suddenly beats faster. I see the faltering in her face, the way I feel when I want to kiss her but know I shouldn't, and for once I feel maybe we're on the same page. But before I can act she is moving away from me, towards her room. I feel a little dazed as I watch her walk away, I think of all the things that could happen between us, all the things that _should_ happen between us.

"...Kate" my voice doesn't even sound like my voice as I say this, I don't think I've said her name before with so much meaning behind it.

"Goodnight Castle..." She says it in a way that I take as she fully understands how I'm feeling right now. I watch the door close and stare at it for a few moments before moving to rest my head in my hands, my elbows resting on my knees. How horrible am I for thinking of what I would like to do to her, how much I want to have my hands on her body when she is still grieving her friend, her mentor... I feel guilt, and the sexual feelings fade into a feeling of concern. I want to comfort her, but I have just missed my moment, and this wouldn't be the first time. A click distracts me from my thoughts, and I look up to see her door slowly opening, I hold my breath.

"Rick... I..." She trails off and her hand sweeps up to her face to wipe away what I'm guessing are tears her other hand is still clenched on the door handle it's as if the door is holding her up. I stand, and move towards her without a seconds thought as to what I'm doing.

"I'm so sorry Kate..." I pause as I get close, invading her personal space and now suddenly unsure of what to do. Am I misreading her? Should I hold her, or should I walk away? She makes up my mind for me, and her arms wind around my waist, and her head tucks into my chest.

"It just feels so unreal..." Her voice is muffled against my shirt, she's holding onto my so tightly I'm afraid if she squeezes any harder I won't be able to breathe. Gently I bring my arms around her, and rub my hand up and down her back, feeling her tense muscles relax ever so slightly.

"You will get there; I wasn't lying about your strength Kate. About anything I said." I can't resist and my hand moves up to her hair and I smooth it down... It feels so right to have my hand in her hair and when she pulls her face from my chest and looks me in the eye it takes only a moment for my other hand to reach up to her head and my fingers to brush through her hair. She tilts her face up expectedly, my hands move to cup her face and I lower my head to hers. When our lips meet I kiss her softly but her hands rise up behind my head and press against the back of my head insistently pushing my lips harder against hers. I moan into her mouth, but pull back a little. Now is not the time for a passionate kiss now is time for me to alleviate a little of the pain she is feeling. She pulls away from me, and doesn't look at me. I gently turn her face to mine.

"Don't..." _Don't regret this, don't over analyse it_. She smiles slightly.

"I won't." And she snuggles her face back into my chest. "You know what Castle?"

"What?" I try not to let my smile take over my entire face, I try not to show how fucking _great_ it is to finally have her in my arms.

"You actually are kind of a gentleman after all. Maybe your intentions are more pure than _mine_." She turns her face up to mine and that teasing look on her face nearly totally ruins my resolve not to take this any further tonight, I have to bite my lip and look away. _No_ Castle.

"Tonight... is not the night." She pouts playfully and out of the corner of my eye I see her smile.

"I know you're right." She pushes me away gently with one hand towards my room. "Goodnight Castle," my feelings must have shown on my face, I must look like a beaten puppy because she chuckles and opens her door wider.

"I don't know if..." Fuck it, we already know how we feel for each other and we've known for a long time. "Okay." I follow her into the room trying very hard to think of saints, and mathematical equations and not the sexy woman slipping off her jeans... I move to the other side of the bed and remove my own jeans. We slip simultaneously into the bed. There is a gap at first, neither of us brave enough to move towards the other, but she shivers and I move closer. "Lift your head,"

"Mm," she says and lifts her head my arm comes behind her head and she tucks her head into my chest the rest of her body melding against mine. I can't believe how right it feels and I she relaxes next to me. "Goodnight, for real this time." She says quietly. I bend awkwardly and kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight Kate."

The End.


End file.
